Really important things that are on my mind.

Important thing number 1.

What does a $2.95 bottle of walmart Cabernet taste like. I'll find that out tonight. More later. It has a pretty label - does that count ?

Important thing number 2.
Two small people in this house are wearing diapers. Someone took a dump. Because both of these people are napping, I have to wait to see how it all turns out. More later.

Important thing number 3.

We are going out tonight to celebrate a new writing gig. I thought I was a featured blogger on a website, but today instead of being posted in the blog, it was posted as an article. With photos. I have no idea what's going on. I shall have to email my editor and ask what's going on. More later.

Important thing number 4.

For our celebratory dinner, we are going out for lobster - something I haven't eaten in a year. I love lobster. My husband's father used to have lobster traps, and I gorged myself on lobster during the lobstering season. Lobster salad, hot and cold lobster rolls, baked stuffed lobster, any and all lobster was welcome. But the pacific lobster SUUUUUUUCKS. So I have been lobsterless.

Very very sad.

But lo and behold, there is a place in Kona raising Maine lobsters. They call them "Maine Kona Lobsters" and that just makes me laugh, and then want to eat lobster. So lobster it is. I wonder if it will taste different then Maine Maine lobsters. In Maine. More later.

Important thing number 5.

Tomorrow, in celebration of Trouble's birthday, I am attending her spin class. I am petrified, but want to show my support of her status as certified spin instructor. Except I keep referring to it as "pedaling class" and I think she's getting pissed off. The detail weighing most heavily on my mind is "how bad is my crotch going to hurt after class ?" I am guessing it'll hurt a lot. More later.

Important thing number 6.

I am seriously contemplating selling the wagon, since everything still works great and I think I am pushing my luck by hanging on to it any longer. I mean, who am I kidding, driving a BMW. Yeah, it's used, yeah it has a ton of miles, yeah, the inside was destroyed by the previous owner's dog, yeah I got it for cheap......but let's be serious.

That said, I don't think I can do it. I love that car, and my heated seats, and the fact that when I hit the gas pedal that thing takes off like a shot. I just can't quit you, German mom mobile. Parting is such sweet, sweet sorrow. More later.

Important thing number 7.

My neighbor gave the kids a bag of home made cookies yesterday. Is it OK if I just go ahead and eat them all ? Because I am pretty sure that is what's going to happen........

................more later.

Itchy and Bitchy

I am having the most ridiculous weekend, and I am just so glad I didn't take my leave from this whirlwind and head off to BlogHer's festivities.

In short order, the shit I would have missed:
Girl's night which involved following directions that started with "OK, so head towards the jail, but right before you get there, make a left." Turns out, the prisoners in Maui live in a really nice neighborhood, surrounded by some hot real estate. Bastards.

Rollerskating on Friday, which launched with my getting completely hammered on one happy hour margarita during pre-skate dinner. Lethal.

Trying to buy a leash for Max's new-to-him surfboard, which was purchased in a tiny garage-come-storefront under the "Jesus, Coming Soon" sign. The shopkeeper was an enormous man who did not feel inclined to wear a shirt in his place of business. Also, showering ? Totally over rated.

Willow's tattoo party. I wore a short skirt and my city-livin, break 'em out for special occasions knee-high boots, and got me some ink in the master bedroom while festivities ensued in the living room. My ink was located on my right breast, fulfilling my "all tattoos must be covered by a bathing suit" guidelines. The location of the tatto also made the inking a very well-attended portion of the evening - and well documented. More on that later. I also mooned a car approaching the house, that I thought was driven by my friend. It was not my friend's car. It's a shame, that.

Opening the restaurant at 7am - AFTER the party. Not good. Not good at all. Spent the entire shift faking a smile and wincing every time I had boob to bra contact. And muttering things like "my tit hurts" as I made other people bloody marys that I needed pretty desperately for myownself.

So SEE ? It's good that I didn't go. If I had gone, I wouldn't have had this kick-ass Maui weekend.